Monday, January 27, 2014

I may not be wise in my decision
sometimes, I know that's stupid but i still choose to be stupid
but, I believe nothing is a waste in the end
I certainly have my reasons for some decisions
no matter those reasons are valid or not
I certainly will gain something in my own way

I do have time, but I will never be ready no matter how much time is given to me
I ll never really seriously get started if I am given time
sometimes, i just rely on my gut feeling to kick myself start
since gut feeling relies on System 1 in my brain, instead of System 2
it probably results in unwise decision
and yes, even I feel unwise when decide it
but still, from my view of point it is a gain anyway
and most importantly, it straight kicks me start without having to find the courage that I never can find

Furthermore, that decision don't even decide anything yet
there's still room for reject
Anyway, now I learn that, I will not mention this to anyone
even if at the end I do not reject and decide to do this
because with all the complex feeling I have
I only need things that push me forward instead of setting me back

However, I appreciate those honest opinions
its way more better than people who bluffing around to comfort me
but, I wonder, what type of comments I will receive when I face unhappy things in the decisions
will I get real support or the "I told you so" expression?

Aha ~ Be calm, Be Stea~dy



Monday, January 13, 2014

毕业了
失业了

回顾过去,平平又凡凡
展望未来,前途还渺茫

幼儿园     -三年(或两年?)
小学        - 六年
中学        - 五年
大学预科 - 一年半
大学        - 约三年半

活了二十三年半,有十八十九年是活在这“教育系统”中
是宝贵,也是点浪费;我的青春呐 ~
应该会止于此,然后又几十年以打工一族身份生活
不再能像学生时期般的悠哉自由
是辛苦,也是会幸福; 我的人生呐 ~

准备好与否,给自己的时间到了,就要出来社会了;
有如孩童时初入幼儿园,又得重新学习一切
不同的是, 以前有人可靠,以后得靠自己
不同的是, 以前没什么压力,以后会有一定的负担

未来对我来说还迷茫,只知道有个未来是自己想要的
其余的,会先以这个想要的未来为出发点而努力

希望今年,前途可以清晰起来。。。一定能的
语言有言灵,文字有没有文灵呢?
有的话,写出来的愿望能实现吧?

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

MARCH IS LIKE A CURSE FOR ME

lots of thing not yet done

lots of things not even started

lots of things I dono how to do

Time flies, rushing, I am rushing as well but dont seem able to do things well

I am trying to relax this time,

and yes, I success, which make me keep procrastinate,

and no, i fail, anxiety arouse when time flies and I still dono what the hell I am doing

The feeling of not knowing exactly how things should be done is sucks

the feeling of when u motivated to do something but dono how to do is sucks

my mind clouded by many shits, till I dono what English I am writing now

I am stressed? no, i think I more stress last time, but i wonder whether I ever let myself feel stress now

I am tired of unsure thing, like to find escape more than let myself distressed

wish March end faster

and wish April will be a good one


Monday, November 19, 2012

同时担心着两个朋友。。。
一个是将近十年的姐妹,另一个是曾经可以说很多话的朋友。。。

担心她又回到像过去那样的低潮,
联络得不到回应,心,不安。。。
不晓得该做些什么。。。有些无助。。。

她呢,感觉离我们越来越远。。。
觉得故意回避?我不想多心。。。
想去关心,我又该从何下手?我又凭什么去关心?
我又有什么资格去关心?

为何不能像从前那样,低潮也就这样过,然后大家又开开心心的?

为何不能像从前那样,我和你什么都说,对你不会有什么愧疚感?

觉得我长得越大,朋友就越少。。。真心的有几个留下了,有些渐行渐远,有些令人担心。。。
只希望你们都能快快乐乐的,那就好。。。

Monday, November 12, 2012

一直以为自己了解自己,最后朋友,就算是不常见面的,比我还看得清自己一直没去理会或承认的事情。。。即使对自己诚实会伤人伤己,现在,我再也不迷茫了。。。

那些‘点醒’了我的朋友。。。谢谢你们。。。
那些被我伤害过/可能会被我伤害的朋友,对不起。。。

看来,我还真的需要时间去了解各方面的自己,有些已有头绪,有些还毫无头绪。。。

Saturday, March 31, 2012

An Autumn Leaf

An Autumn Leaf by Vitas

The world has broken up into thousands of pieces
Only emptiness was left in the eyes
My soul feels as if it were pricked by needles
Where did the Beauty disappear?
I am torn by melancholy
I am shattered to pieces

Like an autumn leaf in the wind
I'm playing a strange game
Like an autumn leaf in the wind
I'll erase myself from the memory

Scraps of incomprehensible thoughts
About someone who is very lonely
Are flowing around me in a stream
Striking me as if by electric discharge
I am torn by melancholy
I am shattered to pieces

Like an autumn leaf in the wind
I'm playing a strange game
Like an autumn leaf in the wind
I'll erase myself from the memory


Saturday, January 7, 2012

这是一段唯美的爱情,无论是快乐,亦或是悲伤......
这是一段唯美的关系,因为他们始终带给人们快乐,在人们的心目中还是很美丽......
这是太阳,月亮和星星之间的关系————

太阳的温暖和光芒温柔的照着月亮,所以她才会发光。太阳耀眼的光芒,永远是她能量来源,幸福快乐的源头。 月亮永远在太阳照耀之下显出最美的一面。可惜的是,太阳永远只能仰望月亮的一面,永远只能照到月亮的一面,月亮的另一面,太阳永远不知道。太阳和月亮相爱,可是他们是不一样的星球,轨道也完全不一样;太阳有他无法逃避责任,月亮有她自己的路得走。太阳需要让地球温暖,好让所有地球上的生物得以生存。这是一项很艰难却无法逃避的责任。月亮有她自己的梦想和路得走,她不能,也不想随便离开自己的轨道。所以太阳只能陪在月亮身边一段时间,然后月亮就不得不继续她的轨道。

     每当太阳温柔地照着月亮时,月亮就会散发出幸福的光芒,地球人就会看见那轮悬挂空中的美丽满月。当人们可以看见月亮时,就是太阳只属于月亮而已的时候;当白天月亮消失时,就是太阳工作的时候,这时太阳就不只是属于月亮而已了。别以为月亮真的消失了哦,她其实有偷偷看着太阳在工作哦!只是太阳的无私光芒太亮了,亮得人们看不见月亮。月亮知道太阳的工作辛苦,责任重大,可是敏感不安的月亮何尝不想太阳何时何刻都是属于她的。月亮很怕太阳会离开她,因为太阳的无私贡献及温暖总是导致很多仰慕者,这令月亮觉得骄傲,也觉得不安。

     月亮是个没什么目标及重任的星球,但她有自己的路需走。月亮最害怕寂寞,人们以为她如此美丽,应该会很多人喜欢而不会感到寂寞。确实,很多人爱上月亮,可是月亮却只爱太阳,只想要太阳陪,其他的仰慕者她完全不感兴趣。月亮也很胆小,她真的不喜欢一个人走在她的轨道上。每当她觉得孤单,感受不到太阳的爱时,或是太阳的阳光照不到她时,她就会日渐伤心。 这时人们就会看到原本浑圆的满月,渐渐消逝成半月,最后变成新月---月亮最伤心的时候,因为太阳完全照不到她。当太阳温暖的抚慰月亮时,月亮才会渐渐地开心起来,然后再呈现她最美的一面。太阳爱着月亮,怎么忍心让她凋谢呢?唉,其实太阳也不知道月亮伤心啊!月亮太倔强了!

     月亮很脆弱,很依赖,也很敏感。可是她很倔强,不想让人担心,所以不想让人知道她的脆弱。别人永远瞧不见月亮的另一面,因为她怕受伤,所以防护心强的她不让人瞧她的另一面。她伤心时,也不让人瞧见。大家看见满天星星时是否觉得很美呢?是否察觉每当满月时就没什么星星,而没有月亮时就一片星空?其实星星是月亮的眼泪,所以只在月亮伤心时,缺乏心爱的太阳照耀时,躲起来哭泣时才比较多。不过正如所说的,倔强的月亮不想让人知道她哭泣,所以就把眼泪变成一闪一闪亮晶晶的星星,不用让人担心之余又能让天空多了漂亮的星星,每当非常伤心或感动时,甚至会把眼泪便成美丽的流星。。。。。
   
     偶尔,云朵会遮着月亮,那是月亮调皮地要和太阳玩捉迷藏;也是月亮赌气撒娇的时候; 或是月亮不想让太阳看见她伤痕累累的时候。。。每次下雨,可能是太阳月亮哭泣的时候,也可能是纯粹要滋润地球。那太阳之不知道月亮的悲伤?月亮又知不知道太阳的心疼?闪闪发亮的星星又有否乘机偷偷告诉太阳月亮的眼泪? 这就只有太阳,月亮及星星知道了。。。

     地球白天幸福地享受着太阳的温暖,晚上欣赏着温柔的月亮和星星, 可是地球上的人们又有谁知道太阳,月亮及星星的关系?又有谁知道这段唯美的爱情?

     今晚的满月,真美啊。。。太阳和月亮又在一起了。。。。。。




   

Thursday, May 26, 2011

沙石

真的好想
真正的放开自己
不再把自己隐藏起来

像匹骏马般  
 在草原上自由奔驰
让微风潇洒带走脸上的泪

呼吸着草原蒲公英的味道  
知道她们也自由地飘着
 寻找自己的天地

奔跑时萦绕的风笑声  
盖不过鸟儿在天上的乐吱
自由无拘地翱翔

我像是想要飞的沙石
总是太重
偶尔风大才能飞一会儿

为何对我而言这么地难。。。

Friday, May 20, 2011

阴天的彩虹

阴天的彩虹          悬挂乌云中
眼一目,阴沉的天空
笼罩人心中
有谁又能看见这道彩虹?

阴天的彩虹         七彩缤纷
需要多少雨水来造就?
即使艰越云层
晴天依然迟来不留

阴天的彩虹          你何去何从?
何时能轻牵晴天的手?
会否桥断无踪?
还是只能被有心人默默行走?

彩虹啊         阴天的彩虹
但愿我们能变成风
一起把乌云都捎走
还我们一道灿烂的彩虹!!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Step Foward...

''May I able to fight it?"
"How about half way I get lost?"
''What about I just sit there and do nothing so that no need to be anxious?"

I wont think of these things anymore...I will try my limit...
If can't, I will just let it go and don't blame myself...
and now, I just need to focus on doing whatever I can do...
no more confusion, I will make it better than last time...
should be growth up and be strong to overcome it
to overcome the problem that most of the people don't have...
the phobia...
and let not it be my reason of run away...or failure...
because when I stand up and face it,
I already start a step toward success...
A step that most of other people don't need to try so hard to take...